Gaara of the Desert ALONE AND FORGOTTEN
by departed-ghost
Summary: He swore never to love again. But one day while thinking of death and his life long pain. A young girl passed him. She was the sole person who could open his heart once more. The question that remains, is weather or not he let her. Enjoy and please review


My mother died the day I was born. I was a science experiment. My father hated me. And I cannot fall asleep. The only person who loved me was my uncle. But I found later that it was all a joke. He hated me just as much as everyone else did. Everyone.

Except for her. Yet she knew me for hardly a moment in time.

The day that I tattooed the 'love' symbol on my forehead was the day I swore to never love again, only to ever love myself. And I thought I would. And yet, I didn't.

Constantly I wanted to kill myself. But every time that I tried sand would block the knife, the chunk of metal, or sword. The pain the was swelling up inside of me just wanted to be let out. To seep into the ground beneath me. Drip, drip, drip.

It was then that she passed me. She was carrying water from the nearby river. I watched her as she watched me. I glared but she only smiled. As I turned away from her I heard a giggle.

"What are you doing little boy?" She asked me.

I turn slowly back towards her. "I am hardly a boy." I mutter.

She looks me up and down her head tilted sideways. "I suppose you are right. So, how old are you?"

"Thirteen in a half." Pride enters my voice.

"Truly?" she asks.

"Yes."

"I am thirteen in one eighth!" She laughs "What's your name?"

"Gaara." I say quietly.

"It's nice to meet you Gaara. I would shake your hand, but as you can see both are occupied." She gestures with her head to the woven basket she holds.

"I see." I stand. "I have to go."

"Can I see you tomorrow Gaara?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"I think you are stupid and a waste of time."

She sucks in a breath of air. "Hey now see here! All I want to do is to get to know you a little better! There's no crime in that!

"Your just like every one else. You'll be nice to me, but then you'll see who I really am, and then you'll go running back to mommy and daddy. Your bothering me, go away."

"Fine!" she shouts "but I'll be back tomorrow!"

"I think not."

"WHY?"

"Haven't I already said? God, you are daft. 'I- think- your- stupid- and- a- waste- of- time' there is that more clear."

"I don't care what everyone else says about you! I don't care what you say about me! I just think you're a scared little boy!" With that she turns away, stomping like only thirteen in one eighth year old children do.

"I told you I would be back."

I look up from where I was sitting on a rock. Staring off into space with not a thought of today or even tomorrow. I just watch as the clouds roll by. Wishing they would take me with them. But knowing that they couldn't possibly.

I turn to face her then sit back down closeing my eyes "Why did you return. Your degrading, go away."

"Nope. Not until you tell me everything about you."

"I would hope that you would have a better judgment than to come pocking your nose where it doesn't belong. Now, off with you! I can no longer stand to look at your snoopy face."

"GOD DAMNIT! Just talk Gaara! That's all that I want from you!"

"FINE! You want to know about me! Well then little girl I will tell you ALL about my life!" I begin. "When I was born, I took the life of my mother as a sacrifice." I pause to look at her face. Nothing in her expression changed. "I was an experiment attempt by the hidden village of Sand to 'build' stronger ninjas. I have never slept in years either, for the Sand demon would take over my body and eat away part of my mind every time I lose consciousness. I have never felt love for my villagers fear and loath me. My… father, the Kazekage, sent ninjas to assassinate me since I was six years old because my powers were getting out of hand. The 1st of the assassins was my uncle whom I thought was the only person who loved me. I will be forteen soon. I was born on the 19th of January. My Zodiac sign is Capricorn. My rank is Genin. My sensei is Baki. My teammates consist of Temari and Kankurou; my family is, Kazekage is my… Father; Temari and Kankurou are my elder sister and brother." I sigh groaning. "I hope you are satisfied little girl. For I have nothing else to add to this sop story."

"Why did you tattoo the kanji 'love' on your forehead?"

I laugh slightly. "I swore to love only my self and now I seek my existence by killing others." I stare at her, all most unwillingly. "Do I frighten you little girl?"

She bits down on her bottom lip. "No I don't think so. Your just confused and that's okay."

"Wha… what?" Certainly NOW I was confused.

"I said that your just confused. A lot has happened to you Gaara. It should seem that you wouldn't be able to figure things out. I am just glad you're the way you are instead of being someone really mean and nasty."

"Who ever said I wasn't mean and nasty?" I glare at her.

"Oh, it's just a feeling I've got."

"And what if the feeling is incorrect?

"I don't think it is."

I snicker. "I think, you think to much."

"Yes, well it is my curse." She smiles and two dimples appear.

Silence falls. The wind whips through the air, carrying the sounds of the village far off but so close. The river splashes and moves. Always changing, forever different.

"You should go home little girl." I state.

She sighs. "Perhaps you are right. But I will be back tomorrow. Will you wait for me Gaara?" She smiles

My eye twitches slightly. "Wait for you?" I laugh. "I have been waiting for you to leave! I will not wait for you to come to me! Gosh you ARE dumb."

Tears swell in her eyes. And in the first time in my life I want to comfort someone. Her.

"Okay Gaara, I'll leave. Good bye."

I turn my face away from hers so she cant see the longing in my eyes. In my mind I said goodbye to her. In my mind I bid her farewell and kissed her lips. In my mind she didn't walk away with angry tears about to spill. In my mind….

She didn't come back. Not that I was waiting for her or anything. Because I wasn't. Why would I be? She meant nothing to be. Nothing.

But I missed her. Even though we had spent hardly any time together.

Why did I miss her?

She meant nothing to me

Only she meant so much.

Or not.

Not

Yes. She meant everything

My very existence rested on her shoulders.

I didn't want that.

Couldn't.

I COULD LOVE NO ONE! I made a promise long ago to never love another soul. And yet I gave my heart away, without consenting myself. In the end, I was the only person who hurt me. I let me get in the way of my own happiness.

There's no way that she could have loved me anyway. It just wasn't possible. All who ever got close to me ended up stabbing be in the back. The imaginary wounds from so long ago, scars that reminded me of the past I tried so hard to forget. Coming to haunt me at every turn.

I couldn't even kill my self to end the misery. I couldn't end the life which someone created. I was never meant to be.

Born into this world a nothing, only to die a nothing. But it could have been different if only I had been able to open my heart once more to let her in. I could have changed. But like a fool I didn't. And now I am doomed to live my life regretting the past only… only it could have been different.

I tell myself not to dwell on the past.

But I can't help myself.

I saw her years later.

And we look upon one another in the same fashion of when first we meet. She had a swollen belly and a small child clenching her hand, while in the other she carried a basket of vegetables. I was glaring staring absently into the crowd when suddenly we locked glances. Her smile faded. The little child at her hip tugged tiredly at her hand. Then she smiled at me.

And I smiled back.

I never saw her again.

Later I found, that she had married, and in fact had three children. And with her husband, someone who appreciated her love, not that she ever love me.

No one had ever loved me.


End file.
